On Gerald May and Being A Late Adopter
Illustration created by Michael Kroth, with the assistance of OpenAI's DALL-E Tool (my FIRST SECOND using AI!)
Reading A Book in the Midst of Electronic Devices
I admit it. I’m a late adopter. A Johnny-Come-Lately. I’m late to the party. Late should be my middle name. Michael “Always Late” Kroth. My friend Vinji, who I hike with once a week, knows that if I say I’ll pick him up at noon, it will inevitably be 12:06 or 12:09. He’s a patient fellow, thank goodness. I’m not usually late to meetings and I generally meet deadlines (I was a day late, once, in getting a book manuscript to a publisher), so that’s good, but I’ve thought all along that artificial intelligence would never be for me, that it would, like the internet (thank goodness someone finally decided that it didn’t need to be capitalized any more), erode the brain’s ability to think and concentrate. I’ve resisted reading anything by the author Gerald May, because (another) Gerald May was president of the University of New Mexico when I returned to school for my master’s degree. Deep reading and university president just didn’t compute at all I guess. Subconscious conflation, sadly. I waited for years to watch the TV series M.A.S.H. because it was so popular I knew it had to be chaff. I was one of the last to use waxing to remove unsightly chest hair (no, I’ve still never done that. Don’t plan to, either).
You get the idea.
The older I become, the less likely I am to adopt something, to watch something, to wear something, to read something, just because it’s popular. I’ve come to value substance over silly, and what deepens in value over time over the quick return on investment.
In short, I have become boring.
Or, more accurately, more boring. Boring-er.
And yes, I’m speaking in hyperbole here – I’m as superficial as the next person, it just takes me more time to jump into the shallow water than most, and I’m not above watching a wretchedly funny TV comedy. In fact, my little not-so-secret secret is that I enjoy those way too much and too often.
But I’m also too often late to the “this is important stuff” party. When I arrive at those partays, however, I can party pretty hard.
I eventually became an avid M.A.S.H. fan. I just became a subscriber to ChatGPT, and I’m determined to learn the ways AI can support various aspects of my life (this essay was not AI written or enhanced -except the illustration, which is my first AI created, publicly published image - but who knows, maybe one day they will). When I became interested at age 60 in profound learning and, eventually, spirituality the books on my bookshelves changed dramatically. I also finally started plucking my eyebrows (I didn’t), and I love to watch reality T.V. (never!!!).
I recently decided that it was time to delve into the author Gerald May. He wrote a number of books (and yes, they seem quite popular amongst a certain set of knowledge-seekers). Wikipedia (which many of us eschewed as unreliable and un-citable in its earlier years, but has now become so much a part of the ground of public knowledge-sourcing that it asks me for donations when I try to look something up there, suggesting that it’s not for sale – perhaps a subtle reference to the takeover of Twitter and other “news” sources?), tells us succinctly that May “… conducted workshops in contemplation and psychology, and wrote several books on how to combine spiritual direction with psychological treatment.” Dolores Lackey, in the National Catholic Reporter, wrote a personal note about May when he died, titled, A fellow pilgrim: Jerry May, 64. There she recalled their work together at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation saying, “A psychiatrist, he found the border of mind and soul fascinating country, and he never ceased to explore that terrain.”
But enough of that backstory. I’d seen Jerry (may I call you that, Gerald, in absentia) quoted time and again so I looked at his list of books and picked one I thought might resonate, The Awakened Heart: Opening yourself to the Love you need. I bought a used paperback and started reading.
“I cannot specifically,” he writes, “define love, but I am convinced it is the fundamental energy of the human spirit, the fuel on which we run, the wellspring of our vitality. And grace, which is the flowing, creative activity of love itself, is what makes all goodness possible” (pp. 3-4). Although he calls on numerous sources in his book, in the Preface he notes, “Three small, unpretentious works that have been especially helpful for me. The first is Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God…..The second is Thomas Kelly’s A Testament of Devotion…The third is Thich Nhat Hanh’s Present Moment Wonderful Moment” (pp. ix-x).
It so happens that those three books were also essentially important influences on my own spiritual growth. I even tried at one point to memorize the 49 gathas in Present Moment Wonderful Moment. Didn't stick then, wouldn't even try now.
When I read, “If I could, I would take charge of my life and make it turn out just right. I can’t. I have tried and failed repeatedly,” I felt a kindred spirit speaking to me. I too have tried. I too have failed repeatedly. I wished I had started reading Dr. May the psychiatrist much earlier.
So…I am just in the first chapter of this book.. The point here is that being a latecomer is no excuse for being a no-comer. It’s true that we must curate what we give attention to, we can’t read or experience everything that might be useful or meaningful or joyful. We can’t follow every whim, even if we identify as whimsical. But it is foolish to reject something simply because it is fashionable or popular or trendy or easy. That’s a superficiality all its own and, like cliches, which often have become so overused because they represent deeper truths, trends are trends because they connect with something valuable to people.
So, in that spirit I’m now looking for streaming movies that feature talking teddy bears and magic microphones, and she/he/they/it-dumped-me-and-I-found-someone-better-no-wait-you-were-always-my-true-love-and-I’m-coming-back-to-you-and-dropping-this-shallow-fantasy flicks, and I'm certainly checking out those movies featuring beautiful people with superpowers who band together to save the world (for the nth time….) series - I must watch every...single...one...of...the...sequels in that spandex universe.
And, what is Tik Tok again?
What joy.
Sources and Resources
Hanh, T. N. (1990). Present Moment Wonderful Moment: Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living. Parallax Press.
Kelly, T. R. (1996). A testament of devotion. HarperSanFrancisco
Delores Lackey - https://natcath.org/NCR_Online/archives2/2005b/050605/050605s.php
Lawrence, B.(1974). The Practice of the Presence of God (D. Attwater, Trans.). Templegate. (Dorothy Day Introduction)
Gerald May - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_May
May, G. G. (1993). The awakened heart: opening yourself to the love you need (1st HarperCollins pbk. ed.). HarperSanFrancisco.
