The Arrogance Of Belonging
"...to find your place of belonging, the life in which you are allowed to exist, to fully live, is essential."
Are you allowed to exist? Elizabeth Gilbert
I’ve been puzzling over the phrase “thearrogance of belonging”. I read thesewords in Elizabeth Gilbert’s blog and have been tryingto make sense of them. Liz attributedthe phrase to poet and philosopher David Whyte, and used it to describe thebelief that you’re allowed to have your own vision - to bring your own voice -to live your most creative, adventurous, and expressive life. Just as crazy were her own words describingthat belief - she called it “creativeentitlement”. Arrogance is encouraged? Asense of entitlement is good?
I was drawn to the phrases, and at the sametime troubled by them. Arrogance and entitlement aren’t typically things westrive for. Arrogance is the antonym ofhumility. Entitlement suggests privileges, which may not have been earned ordeserved. It would be wise to treadlightly before wading into arrogance and entitlement.
Andyet, I’m starting to believe that there may be some truth to the provocativephrases. I went to the movie, DowntonAbbey this weekend, and was reminded of the ways that social norms and culturalexpectations often put people in roles in which they don’t thrive. Roles which don’t allow them to fully exist -to create the life they are meant to live. Many of the characters in the movie accepted their station in life with heart-warming humility. Many defended the rigid hierarchy of Britainin the 1920’s. But some did not, could not, live in the box they had been borninto. These people defied expectations,norms, and conventions and demanded lives of belonging, the lives their heartstold them they must live.
The boldness of rejecting assigned roles isoften met with resistance, fierce resistance. It’s viewed as disruptive, troublesome, unappreciative. Society, friends, and family see a threat tothe balance, and will employ all sorts of tactics to preserve the statusquo.
But to find your place of belonging, the lifein which you are allowed to exist, to fully live, is essential. John O’Donohue said, “The hunger to belong isat the heart of our nature….When your life awakens and you begin to sense thedestiny that brought you here, you endeavour to live a life that is generousand worthy of the blessing and invitation that is always calling you.”
To endeavor to live your most worthy life isnot always easy. To follow the path to your belonging requires courage. Andsometimes it may take a dash of entitlement and a pinch of arrogance to summonthat courage. I think Liz and David are onto something.
RecommendedResources
Elizabeth Gilbert November 30, 2014 Blog
Eternal Echoes:Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong by John O’Donohue
