The Profound Joy Of Hitting The Send Button

When life is difficult, small victories are important 

I hit the “Send” button this week as I submitted my dissertation to my committee, and I felt a moment of profound exhilaration. I’ve spent the past five years in doctoral classes, writing papers, researching, attending conferences, experiencing all the pieces of graduate study that culminate in a “Dr.” before my name. And the accomplishment, the result of years of dogged work and plodding through the Ph. D. minefield, crystallized in my mind with the click of a button. 

In a way, it’s like what happens when you get to the end of a presentation and there are no questions, only applause. Or in today’s current work-from-home environment, it’s like clicking the “Leave Meeting” box after a satisfactory Zoom session. A similar burst of joy comes with crossing off an item on a to-do list or drawing an X over a day on a countdown calendar. There’s a sense of accomplishment, the release of pent-up stress, and the acknowledgment of meeting a goal, no matter how small; it may not be as grand as completing a dissertation, but these moments can add up and bring us feelings of well-being.

I’ve always been a list person, probably because I feel so good when I cross something off and the long list of tasks starts to shrink. Right now the list on my desk has one entry that reads: “The Profound Joy of Hitting the Send Button.” As I hammer away on my keyboard trying to fill the page with words, I wonder how long that item will remain on the list, how many drafts will I complete before I can grab the dark blue marker beside the pad and draw a line back and forth through the words that castigate me now as I procrastinate.

When life is difficult, small victories are important. We may not be able to slay the terror of the pandemic as it seeps into the moments of our daily life, but we can make lists and cross out words. The list on my desk is full of work tasks: finish a lit review, submit a proposal, write a book review, update my CV.  

Yet what I really need today is the list of to-do items that will lift my spirits and bring those moments of profound joy. That list includes: laugh with my husband, hug my daughter, pet the dog behind her ears, light a scented candle and inhale lavender and vanilla, savor the taste of a homemade mocha latte, stand in the wind on my back porch, finish a good book, place the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle, sip wine in a bubble bath. It’s a list of some of my favorite things. If I spend the day going through this to-do list, I will give myself moments of beauty and bliss, along with the exhilaration of ticking off items and finding pleasure. Those are feelings that remind us what is important and allow us to pile up those small victories that keep the dragon at bay.

So here goes, I’m hitting that “Send” button again! And you should know, I’ve crossed it off the list, and I’ve experienced that momentary delight!

Right now the list on my desk has one entry that reads:

“The Profound Joy of Hitting the Send Button.”